Oh buhay

Maraming bagay ang gusto ko lang malaman

Saan ba ang tama at dapat kong daanan?

Dito ba o doon? Para sana’y hindi na maulit

Mga pagkakamali ko’y kinalilimutang pilit

Isang madilim na sulok ang aking sandalan

Alaala ng kahapon ang aking hinahagkan

Balot na ng lungkot ang aking nasisilayan

Di ko na matanaw ang aking patutunguhan

Ang mundo ko’y nababalot ng malungkot na kahapon

Ngayon at bukas, tila’y akin nang itinapon

Ako’y napapaligiran ng mga mapagmahal na tao

Bakit ganun? Tila nag-iisa pa rin ako

Naaalala ko pa noong aking kabataan

Walang pakialam kung saan man ang aking madaanan

Dito man o doon, wala akong pakialam

Tutal naman, meron pa akong bukas na sasandalan

Araw-araw, problema’y hindi ko iniisip

Mga magulang naman ang parating sasagip

Sarap dito, sarap doon, kasarapang di matapos

Hanggang isang araw, kasarapa’y tila naubos

Pagkawala ng isang pinakamamahal ay walang kasing sakit

Luhang tumutulo sa aking mga mata’y walang kasing init

Mga kasayahan sa buhay ko’y tila nabura na

Di na kaya pang ngumiti kung wala na ang saya

Tila balot ng hinagpis ang bawat galaw ko

Nasa loob ng eskwelahan ngunit ang iniisip ay malayo

Parating sinasabi nila na kalimutan na ang lahat

Unti-unti ko raw tanggalin ang pasan kong kaybigat

Madaling sabihin, ngunit kayhirap gawin

Tila nakalimot na ko sa aking mga tungkulin

Ngunit meron pa namang nagmamahal na isa

Kalimutan ang kahapon, at ang ngayo’y ipagpatuloy na

Ilang taon na din noong nangyari ang trahedya

Tila nagwala nung makatungtong na sa iba

Nagsimula muli sa aking mga maling gawain

Mga payo nila’y tila kay hirap nang sundin

Kalokohan nga naman, o kay hirap tanggalin

Mga kasarapan sa mundo’y tila kay sarap langhapin

Walang tigil sa kasiyahan kahit isa lamang itong pansamantala

Kahit ang mga nagmamahal ay nahihirapan at lumuluha

Pinagsasabihan ako noong ako’y bago pa lamang dito

Wala akong naririnig, puro ang sagot ko’y “Opo”

Dalawang letrang “P” lang daw ako, sa aki’y sinabi at isinambulat

Tanong nila; “Ikaw ba’y aming PAG-ASA o isang PABIGAT?”

Ilang taon din ako’y nagpakasasa at nagpakasaya

Wala na akong pakialam at tila naging isa nang walang hiya

Gastos dito, gastos doon, wala na yatang kapaguran

Tila nabulag na at di na alam tahakin ang tamang daanan

Mula sapol, ako’y pinalaking matino

Ngunit ngayon, isa nang mistulang gago

Paghihirap nila’y tila wala nang katapusan

Sila na ata ang may masmabigat na pasan

Unti-unti’y nakikita na ng mga matang ito

Mga kalokoha’y sa araw-araw na ginagawa ko

Ngunit sa nakikita ko’y mistulang huli na ang lahat

Kung makapagbabago’y tila hindi na ata sapat

Lubhang mahirap ipagpatuloy ang nasira nang bukas

Paano kung ang ngayo’y bigyan ko nang kaukulang wakas?

Tila kung anu-ano na ang naiisip ng utak kong ito

Kaliwa’t kanan na mga problema’y sadyang kaygulo

Ilang araw, ilang buwan, ilang taon kong itinago

Nakatago sa mga ngiti ang lungkot na pasan ko

Walang nakaaalam na tila meron akong plano

Sa huli’y tila maraming tao ang sa aki’y nakaturo

Kay sarap pagmasdan ng mga taong kaysaya

Sa kapaligiran ko’y tila ang lungkot ay di makita

Napakadaming tao ang nakatingin lamang sa akin

Di ko na kayang pigilan ang hapdi ng damdamin

Sadya talagang nakatutuwa ang buhay

May iba’t ibang disenyo at may iba’t ibang kulay

Sariling gawain kung ito ba’y isang langit o impiyerno

Wag sanang sayangin kahit isa lamang segundo

Kung maibabalik ko lamang ang aking nakaraan

Kung alam ko lang noon ang bunga ng kinabukasan

Siguradong wala ako ngayon sa aking kinatatayuan

Na kung saa’y maraming tao ang nagsisipagtinginan

Tapos na ang oras nang aking paghihintay

Ipikit ang mga mata at huminga ng malumanay

Sa wakas ay matatapos na ang matagal ko nang ikinahihiya
Sana sa pagdilat ng mga mata’y makakita pa ng huling pag-asa

Worth

Oh what solitude it is to have a life that is very demeaning

A face of sadness that is underlain by a contrary meaning

Unknown, unnoticed, unobserved and unseen

Oh how long, so long, how long has it been?

The leafy memories have vanished and slowly my hands let go

Have I felt it? Have I seen it? Surely I did not know

Curious, is that it? How quickly they forget

For the rest of my life, doing this, I’ll ceaselessly regret

Soundless, bitter silence, I did not know why

Why the sun no longer shines in the midst of my sky

Rain, intense rain, it makes my skin melt

For the first time in my life, this feeling I haven’t felt

Anguish, sweet torment, so what shall it be?

Days from now, surely, soon I will see

Can’t wait for the ending, can’t wait for it to be seen

So many witnesses, call me foolish or am I so keen?

The time is running, fast running, am I running out of time?

Don’t worry, never worry, and worry no more for I am fine

Softening misery, tender despair, these hands I can’t see

Teary eyes, watery eyes, leave me alone and let me be

Dimness of the past, you’ve clothed me up throughout the years

The years came by, not a thing altered, no laughter or tears

Same old stuff, same old things, and of course, same old lies

I’ve said it, nothing will ever change, soon the feeling dies

Now that the sweet year is about to have an end

Nothing will ever be the same, no more wounds to mend

I’ve held pain so much, oh these hands of dirt

For all these years, have I really found my worth?

Words Of A Fool, A Fool For Too Long

How long has it been?

My world is trapped within the four walls of a bin

Forsaken for what truly has happen to me

But now I’ll be roaming happy and free

Loneliness follows me

Within the dark periphery

Looking at myself in sympathy

Now I’ll be roaming happy and free

No one knows who I am

For somehow, I am a changed man

No more problems, for the problem is me

Cuz now I’ll be roaming happy and free

You might say that I’ve gone mad

Free from my cell but I’ve been had

No more mistakes, anguish and agony

For now I’ll be roaming happy and free

All my life, they see before they think

Everything is precious, every second and every blink

Laugh, just laugh out loud but let me be

Before you know it, I’ll be roaming happy and free

Is there no chance for these eyes of despair?

Can’t seem to put up with it, can’t seem to bear

You see smiles and happiness… Is that all you see?

Can’t seem to wait to be roaming happy and free

The Prickly

Halloween has truly came so swift

Everyone wants to have candies, everyone wants a gift

But collecting these things is not what all kiddies do

For only few people has a hint or has a clue

Two brothers namely Wick and Whack

They’ve got an intriguing intention and an enormous sack

The sack is not filled with chocolates or candies

All we know is, they’re the sons of Prickly’s

Every year, kids ask for goodies

Others give bubblegums, lollipops and candies

But when the brothers intently came by

Not a single noise can be heard, not even a child’s cry

The people locked their doors, they hold it quit tight

They’re willing to give it all; they’re willing to give a fight

For once a Prickly enters your home

You’ll never be seen, not even your bones

Scary things happen, the people all say

Never look into their eyes, their eyes of dismay

That maybe the last thing that you’ll ever do

Now hide inside your closet, they maybe after you

Now, what sinister mystery holds a Prickly?

Do they collect bodies and bones yearly?

What are they doing to those who disappear?

Wait, I think I see them... I think they’re near!

Where am I? What’s this? Is this my blood?

Oh please, help me!!! Where are you my God?!

Then I closed my eyes, trembled, because all I can see

One by one, they showed up, the carnivorous Prickly family…

Paano?

Paano kung pagkagising mo’y basag na ang mundo?

Paano kung ang lahat ng sitwasyon ay magulo?

Paano kung wala ka nang pagpipilian pa?

Paano kung wala na talaga?

Paano mo maibabalik ang isang kahapon?

Paano mo haharapin ang bukas kung wala na ang ngayon?

Paano mo masasabi na meron pang ibang paraan?

Paano kung burado na din ang iyong daraanan?

Paano ba makakaalis sa problemang ito?

Paano ba? Mahirap to! Paano?

Paano kung sa susunod ay wala nang ilaw na matatanglaw?

Paano kung sa pagdilat ng iyong mga mata’y wala na itong matanaw?

Paano ba ang maging masaya?

Paano tumawa na hindi nagtatago ng luha?

Paano ngumiti sa mga nagmamahal sa iyo?

Paano managinip na parang ito’y totoo?

Paano kung hindi ka na tanggapin sa iyong pinanggalingan

Paano ba ibahin ang iyong nakaraan?

Paano ba masusukat ang isang hangganan?

Paano kung bigo na pala ang iyong kinabukasan?

Paano mo sasagutin ang pagkadami-daming tanong?

Paano kung ang lahat ng kasagutan ay mahigpit na nakakulong?

Paano matatapos ang hindi pa nauumpisahan?

Paano kung ang lahat nang ito’y wala na pa lang katapusan?

My Immortal Beloved

I can still remember,

The way you were beautiful as ever

When we’re still in second grade

And used to call me by my name.

When you first looked at me,

I thought that you’d fall in love eventually

That when I look at you

You’re heart will beat frantically.

You know, everyday of my life, I think of you

For my love is eternal and always true

I can’t live a day without seeing you

You’re the fire that blazes in my heart through and through.

But now that we’re in 4th year

I can’t sense that you’re near

The only thing I know is that you’re gone

That you have finally found someone.

Even though there’s a guy in your life

I don’t mind, even if in the future you’ll be his wife

I just hope that this guy really deserves a girl like you

For you are a goddess, and loving too.

Now that you finally have someone,

I must stop and carry on

Even though hope is gone,

I’ll cherish every memory and move on.

Inside A Killer’s Mind

Skewered eyes from empty sockets

Time to put those eyeballs inside unfilled pockets

You saw everything and how prickly my blades are

You’re my next prey! Now run! Run quickly and far!

 How you’ve escaped me, which I cannot tell

It must be the sirens or it must be their yells

I cannot let you escape and tell the police

I’ll cut off your heart and give it a good squeeze

Now I see you, you’re behind that tree

I’m coming closer; do you want to be free?

It’s time to cleave those tingling eyes

Now, just run for it! That would be wise…

You escaped me again, how swiftly you move

You avoided my fast knives like dancing a groove

Blood, no blood! That irritates me!

I shall free your soul! You shouldn’t flee!

Seeing a red color brightens up my day

I see it everywhere, every alley of decay

What magnificent idea it would be

A million corpses pilled up in front of me

How time flies when you’re having fun

How sweet it would feel, if my work here is done

Don’t move, quit moving! I’ll cut off your legs

Cry, lovely cry! I want you to beg!

Now that you’ve no legs, time to chop you up

What? You’re still breathing? Oh, please just give up?

Now that my precious work here is done

Time to move to another city and have my fun…

Door To Insanity

B: In life, I’ve open up doors to nowhere so far

Hoping to find what I’m looking for, oh such unreachable star

 Maybe someday, one day, I’ll see what your eyes see

And on that day, all that I’m looking for is just me

Can’t seem to find what it is that I’m searching

Guess I’m at my limit, oh I’m so overreaching?

I just need to know what the hell it really is

So that I’ll just go on my way and finally be at peace

Doors, doors, doors, so many of them, the doors of dismay

Wait, there’s someone knocking at the door…

Wish they’re here to stay

It swung open, Oh… Hi Satan, what’s up with you today?

S: Oh nothing much, I’m just here to take your soul away

B: I laughed and laughed, what the hell are you saying?

S: What the hell are you laughing at?

Boy, this is real, you’re not dreaming

B: There’s no such thing as the devil itself

S: So why are you sweating so much, you fucking whelp

B: I see your tail, I see your horns, but still, something’s a miss

S: Ok, I’ll show you my teeth, now you see it? Ain’t that a bitch?

Now that you see what’s in front of you,

 I guess you’ll come with me

B: Why the hell are you dragging me for?

 Get out of my face and let me be

S: Oh, you see, I can’t do that you know…

We had a contract here, see?

B: Wait a minute, that’s my signature and that picture…

Is that me?

S: Well, well, seems you don’t remember any of it,

Let me clue you in

Do you see the dead body in front of you, yes, you have sinned

B: But why am I dead? Who did this? This can’t be!

S: Ha ha, you’ve committed suicide!

Therefore, you’re coming with me

B: But why did I do such a thing, please tell me, so I’ll know

S: Ok, I’ll tell you, buckle up kid, for your life is a show

You see, you had everything in life!

So much more and nothing less

B: So why did a thing like that happen?

It’s so regretful! Tell me the rest!

S: Well, you’ve accomplished nothing without your parents and friends

B: So that’s why I committed suicide? Is that how my life ends?

S: Hush now child, for I’m the one who’s telling the story here

B: But it’s my life, can’t seem to put up with it, my life is so dear

S: Well, that’s that, there’s nothing more to say

B: Wait, please wait, tell me more, one minute, oh please stay

S: Ok child, you’re in for it, now buckle up and enjoy the ride

For you are mine, the minute you died

B: I’m not coming with you; I’ll pray to God!

 I’ll have hope and more

S: Relax kid; soon you’ll be having the time of your life with gore

B: You can’t make me, please let me go!

S: Shut up kid, you’ve committed sin, I think you already know

B: Oh God, why did this shit happened to me in the first place?

S: There’s no God, well, it started with a simple choice, now; you’ve fallen out of grace

B: I cried and I cried, kept yelling out loud but nobody’s there

Then a voice told me to wake up, I opened my eyes, and there you were

Well, I guess it was all a dream, nothing more than a dream of mine

S: But are you sure it’s just a dream? I’ll just wait a little longer

Soon, the two of us will dine

Oh buhay

Maraming bagay ang gusto ko lang malaman

Saan ba ang tama at dapat kong daanan?

Dito ba o doon? Para sana’y hindi na maulit

Mga pagkakamali ko’y kinalilimutang pilit

Isang madilim na sulok ang aking sandalan

Alaala ng kahapon ang aking hinahagkan

Balot na ng lungkot ang aking nasisilayan

Di ko na matanaw ang aking patutunguhan

Ang mundo ko’y nababalot ng malungkot na kahapon

Ngayon at bukas, tila’y akin nang itinapon

Ako’y napapaligiran ng mga mapagmahal na tao

Bakit ganun? Tila nag-iisa pa rin ako

Naaalala ko pa noong aking kabataan

Walang pakialam kung saan man ang aking madaanan

Dito man o doon, wala akong pakialam

Tutal naman, meron pa akong bukas na sasandalan

Araw-araw, problema’y hindi ko iniisip

Mga magulang naman ang parating sasagip

Sarap dito, sarap doon, kasarapang di matapos

Hanggang isang araw, kasarapa’y tila naubos

Pagkawala ng isang pinakamamahal ay walang kasing sakit

Luhang tumutulo sa aking mga mata’y walang kasing init

Mga kasayahan sa buhay ko’y tila nabura na

Di na kaya pang ngumiti kung wala na ang saya

Tila balot ng hinagpis ang bawat galaw ko

Nasa loob ng eskwelahan ngunit ang iniisip ay malayo

Parating sinasabi nila na kalimutan na ang lahat

Unti-unti ko raw tanggalin ang pasan kong kaybigat

Madaling sabihin, ngunit kayhirap gawin

Tila nakalimot na ko sa aking mga tungkulin

Ngunit meron pa namang nagmamahal na isa

Kalimutan ang kahapon, at ang ngayo’y ipagpatuloy na

Ilang taon na din noong nangyari ang trahedya

Tila nagwala nung makatungtong na sa iba

Nagsimula muli sa aking mga maling gawain

Mga payo nila’y tila kay hirap nang sundin

Kalokohan nga naman, o kay hirap tanggalin

Mga kasarapan sa mundo’y tila kay sarap langhapin

Walang tigil sa kasiyahan kahit isa lamang itong pansamantala

Kahit ang mga nagmamahal ay nahihirapan at lumuluha

Pinagsasabihan ako noong ako’y bago pa lamang dito

Wala akong naririnig, puro ang sagot ko’y “Opo”

Dalawang letrang “P” lang daw ako, sa aki’y sinabi at isinambulat

Tanong nila; “Ikaw ba’y aming PAG-ASA o isang PABIGAT?”

Ilang taon din ako’y nagpakasasa at nagpakasaya

Wala na akong pakialam at tila naging isa nang walang hiya

Gastos dito, gastos doon, wala na yatang kapaguran

Tila nabulag na at di na alam tahakin ang tamang daanan

Mula sapol, ako’y pinalaking matino

Ngunit ngayon, isa nang mistulang gago

Paghihirap nila’y tila wala nang katapusan

Sila na ata ang may masmabigat na pasan

Unti-unti’y nakikita na ng mga matang ito

Mga kalokoha’y sa araw-araw na ginagawa ko

Ngunit sa nakikita ko’y mistulang huli na ang lahat

Kung makapagbabago’y tila hindi na ata sapat

Lubhang mahirap ipagpatuloy ang nasira nang bukas

Paano kung ang ngayo’y bigyan ko nang kaukulang wakas?

Tila kung anu-ano na ang naiisip ng utak kong ito

Kaliwa’t kanan na mga problema’y sadyang kaygulo

Ilang araw, ilang buwan, ilang taon kong itinago

Nakatago sa mga ngiti ang lungkot na pasan ko

Walang nakaaalam na tila meron akong plano

Sa huli’y tila maraming tao ang sa aki’y nakaturo

Kay sarap pagmasdan ng mga taong kaysaya

Sa kapaligiran ko’y tila ang lungkot ay di makita

Napakadaming tao ang nakatingin lamang sa akin

Di ko na kayang pigilan ang hapdi ng damdamin

Sadya talagang nakatutuwa ang buhay

May iba’t ibang disenyo at may iba’t ibang kulay

Sariling gawain kung ito ba’y isang langit o impiyerno

Wag sanang sayangin kahit isa lamang segundo

Kung maibabalik ko lamang ang aking nakaraan

Kung alam ko lang noon ang bunga ng kinabukasan

Siguradong wala ako ngayon sa aking kinatatayuan

Na kung saa’y maraming tao ang nagsisipagtinginan

Tapos na ang oras nang aking paghihintay

Ipikit ang mga mata at huminga ng malumanay

Sa wakas ay matatapos na ang matagal ko nang ikinahihiya

Sana sa pagdilat ng mga mata’y makakita pa ng huling pag-asa

…Wakas

January 4, 2008